


turns within me (turns without me)

by simplerushes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Beach Getaway, Friends to Lovers, HoshiHina Week 2020, M/M, Mini Road Trip, just silly boys falling in love at the beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplerushes/pseuds/simplerushes
Summary: “We’re here,” Shouyou says, not taking his gaze off of Kourai. “We made it, huh?”This time he isn’t sure if Shouyou is even talking about the beach anymore but Kourai nods, anyway, smiles through the tight feeling in his chest and says, “We’re here, Shouyou.”(hoshihina week 2020 day 2: beach + a little bit of day 3, too: road trip)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Hoshiumi Kourai
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	turns within me (turns without me)

**Author's Note:**

> title: turns within me, turns without me - the paper kites
> 
> songs: 
> 
> meteor showers - andy kong  
> waterfalls - saintyway  
> nfwmb - hozier  
> love and war in your 20s - jordy searcy  
> whole lot to love - clouds and thorns  
> starlit summer's eve - vian izak

_“In a world myriad as ours, the gaze is a singular act:_

_t_ _o look at something is to fill your whole life with it, if only briefly.”_

_\- Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous_

△

The first time Kourai asks about the beach is also the same time Shouyou looks at him and asks if he wants to go with him. 

“Sorry,” Kourai tries again, blinking at him. “You want to go to the beach with me?” 

Perhaps this question is better suited for anywhere but where they are right now--riding the high of their previous game, Shouyou absolutely golden and brilliant and happy and Kourai--Kourai isn’t too disappointed about the results, actually. It had been a good game. It had been a fun game. It had been--

It had been everything he’d ever hoped for a game to be. 

So for Shouyou to ask him now, amidst the crowd and in the middle of the rest of their team if he wants to go to the beach with him, all Kourai can do is stare at him blankly for one second and then throw his head back in laughter in the next. 

“Yes,” Kourai says, hoping his voice doesn’t give anything away. Hoping the look on his face doesn’t give anything away. “Yes, let’s go to the beach, then,” 

“Did someone mention the beach?” comes Bokuto’s voice from somewhere to his left and Kourai tries not to grimace too much at that when he turns away from Shouyou to look at him. 

“Yes,” is what Shouyou says, that same sure-fire grin on his face. “Hoshiumi-san and I are going on a road trip,”

“What,” Bokuto starts, eyeing them both carefully. “Oh,” he adds, like he finds what he’s looking for. 

Kourai hopes to god he doesn’t find what he’s looking for because there is a look on his face right now that he thinks is too open, too obvious. There is this look on his face that he hopes to god Shouyou doesn’t read too much into because Kourai will die, he really will. 

“Drive safe, kids,” is what Bokuto adds before turning away from them to talk someone else’s ear off. 

Kourai feels almost indignant about that because they aren’t kids anymore. They aren’t the same kids who looked at each other the first time that one year at National’s. They aren’t the same and yet--

And yet Kourai looks at Shouyou again, the same ruffled orange hair, the same fire in his eyes, the same sunrise smile on his face and he realizes that time has done many things to them but it has kept one thing all the time. 

“So, I haven’t really gotten my license ever since I got back--” Shouyou says with a shy little smile, hand coming up to rub the back of his head like his hair needs any more messing up.

Kourai wants to reach out and fix it, he wants to reach out and pull him in because it’s been six year and eleven thousand miles. It’s been six years. 

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he swallows past the same feeling that time has not changed at all and he grins, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get us there.” 

△

Kourai learns three new things about Shouyou on their drive to the beach. 

First, Shouyou likes to sing to the pop tunes on the radio.

Second, he can’t quite carry a tune but it doesn’t stop him from singing. Doesn’t stop him from singing the wrong lyrics, hands moving as he allows himself to be swept away. Head turning to Kourai when he stumbles on the words and gets the lyrics wrong. Kourai hears Shouyou’s laughter before he even laughs. 

Third, Shouyou likes to stare out the window when the song ends, likes to watch as they pass by buildings and trees and eventually end up a little bit farther out in the city. Shouyou likes to stare, is what Kourai learns. Because he’s staring plenty at Kourai now, mouth pressed into a thin line and eyes glittering. 

Shouyou is staring at him and Kourai’s cheeks are warm, the tips of his ears red. Shouyou is staring at him and Kourai is so nervous the car almost swerves when he turns to catch him staring. When he turns to look at Shouyou and Shouyou doesn’t flinch away from his gaze. When all Shouyou does is hold his stare before his lips curl into a smile, before he reaches to tap Kourai’s hand gently and says, “Eyes on the road, sir,” 

Kourai nods, fingers tightening around the steering wheel as he turns back to look at the open road ahead of them. 

△

Kourai learns three new things about himself on their drive to the beach. 

First, that he likes to listen to Shouyou’s offkey singing. He doesn’t like pop-tunes all too much but he likes to listen to Shouyou’s butchered lyrics and awful singing. Kourai wants to listen to him sing whenever he does. Kourai wants to listen. 

Second, that he likes the sound of Shouyou’s laugh more than the actual songs on the radio. That Shouyou laughing next to him over a mistake he’d made on his own is enough to make Kourai want to pull up to the curb and lean his head against the steering wheel, because he can’t handle this. He can’t. 

Third, that Kourai can’t quite meet Shouyou’s gaze head on, that it’s always him who looks away first for fear that Shouyou might search, and search, and eventually come back up for air only to find that Kourai looks at him like someone who never wants to look away. 

And Kourai doesn’t want to look away. Kourai wants to listen to his off key singing and his laughter that sounds better than any song on the radio. 

Kourai learns three new things about himself and then a fourth one that he’s always known ever since he was much younger. 

It is this--

That he likes this boy next to him, who sings off key and laughs like a melody that’s played over and over in his heart. Kourai likes this boy who stares too much, who taps on his hand gently. Kourai likes this boy.

“Are we there yet?” Shouyou asks, turning sleepily to look at him, eyes hooded and his smile lazy. 

Kourai’s fingers tighten around the wheel. 

Kourai has always been here, he thinks. Six years and eleven thousand miles. Kourai has always been here. 

“Yes,” Kourai says just as the shore comes into view. 

“We’re here,” Shouyou says, not taking his gaze off of Kourai. “We made it, huh?” 

This time he isn’t sure if Shouyou is even talking about the beach anymore but Kourai nods, anyway, smiles through the tight feeling in his chest and says, “We’re here, Shouyou.”

△

Fingers close around Kourai’s wrist and tug him forward, and for someone who’s pretty well adjusted and sure footed Kourai stumbles in the sand. But Shouyou rights him up, laughs right in his face and then takes both his hands in his and walks backwards to the shore, orange hair ruffling in the wind. 

The sun is high up in the sky and yet all Kourai can think is how impossible it is to be holding the sun in his hands but here he is. Here they are. 

Shouyou curls his fingers over Kourai’s hand and doesn’t stop walking until they’re inches by the shore. Until Kourai notices that Shouyou’s already kicked his shoes off. Kourai doesn’t notice just what’s about to happen until Shouyou tugs on his hands again and pulls him right as the waves crash against them, the spray cold and refreshing and Kourai’s mouth already tasting of the sea. 

“Surprise,” Shouyou laughs, and laughs, and Kourai laughs with him because this reckless boy has not only dragged him into the water, but he’s also dragged him into the water with his shoes on and the only pair of dry clothes he has. But Kourai doesn’t mind, not when Shouyou’s soaked in sea water and his hair is all tousled by the wind. Kourai doesn’t mind because the sun is a halo around Shouyou’s head and all Kourai can do now is just laugh with him because this boy is ridiculous and reckless and Kourai is very much in love with him. 

“I don’t have a change of clothes,” Kourai finally says, when they’re waist deep in the water and Shouyou hasn’t let go of his hand at all. “And I think I lost one shoe,” 

Shouyou’s cheeks flush at that, mouth opening in shock, and Kourai can already hear the apologies the same way he can hear his laugh before he even laughs. Kourai can hear it and he shakes his head, pushes playfully on Shouyou’s shoulder and watches as Shouyou tumbles into the water and falls down, surfacing a few seconds later to sputter out a laugh and a very loud, _hey_ that Kourai just splashes more water on. 

“I wanted to say--” Shouyou starts, wading over to him again. The water is cool and refreshing and he thinks that perhaps they’ll get an earful from their captains for getting into the water at all in these temperatures--it’s still cold but not exactly freezing but cold enough for them to get a proper scolding--”I wanted to say I didn’t think this through,” 

A shiver passes through Kourai and he looks over his shoulder at the shore. They’re not too far away and yet when he turns to look at Shouyou, he feels like they are. Like they’re seven seas away from each other. 

But Shouyou comes closer to him, fingers finding Kourai’s elbow first before they slide down to close around his hand, squeezing. 

“Your hand’s cold,” Kourai points out, if only to stop himself from saying, _I hope you never let go_. “I think we need to go back,”

Shouyou stares at him because that’s something he likes to do. He stares. And stares. And Kourai knows that he sees what’s clearly on his face because Shouyou’s lips quirk into a funny little half smile, his eyes perceptive. Always perceptive. For what it’s worth, Kourai has learned long, long ago that Shouyou is nothing if not keen and perceptive. 

“Yeah, we should,” Shouyou doesn’t move at all and it’s only then, when the waves crash against them, sea salt on the tips of his tongue and his cheeks already starting to sunburn, that he realizes what Shouyou wants. 

So Kourai pulls him along with him as he leads them back to the shore, Shouyou’s fingers tight around his hand and Kourai is starting to feel cold but Shouyou is holding his hand and this part, at least, is warm. Kourai’s hand is warm. 

△

“Sorry,” Shouyou tells him again when they’re on their backs in the sand, hair still wet from their little adventure. 

Kourai has lost both his shoes but that’s really the least of his worries. 

“No,” Kourai tells him, arm over his eyes to block off the glare of the sun. “No, that was fun. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun outside of volleyball in--” in years, he wants to say. “In ages,” he says instead, as if that’s any better. 

“Volleyball is fun,” Shouyou confirms, shifting in the sand. They’re so close like this that Kourai can already feel Shouyou staring at him. Can feel his cheeks start to dust all pink and rosy and he hates how he’s so obvious. Heart on his sleeve and always beating so fucking loud. Kourai hates it. “But this was different, I think,” and then, after a second, “This was special,” 

Kourai moves his hand and turns very slowly to look at Shouyou who’s curled up on his side and staring at him, orange hair still dripping from the sea water and his smile warm and golden. 

Kourai watches Shouyou’s smile unfurl across his face and feels the blossoming of something warm and sweet in the center of his chest. 

“You think so?” Kourai asks, wanting so, so very much to look away because it’s all over his face and even if it wasn’t then Shouyou would have already heard his hummingbird heart rattling in its cage. 

But Shouyou is keen, perceptive. Shouyou knows. 

Shouyou knows and he still doesn’t look away, so Kourai, for the first time, brings himself to look right back at him. 

“I know so,” the belly-ache, head thrown back, and shoulders shaking kind of laugh is gone. Instead, Shouyou laughs quietly, gently. He laughs like the gentle rolling of the waves into the shore. He laughs right into Kourai’s arms, hands reaching out to him and tugging him close before he even knows what’s happening. Shouyou smothers his quiet, gentle laughter into Kourai’s hair and Kourai holds on to him. 

“Sorry,” Shouyou says again and Kourai breathes the smell of the sea breeze in. Kourai breathes in and feels his heart steady. 

“I told you, it’s okay,” Kourai says, already brushing it off. “It’s just a pair of shoes, I have plenty at home--”

“No,” Shouyou sits up, then and looks at him. “No, listen,” Shouyou pulls him up with him, hands closing around Kourai’s. “Listen, it’s not about that, it’s about--”

And Kourai knows this apology, too. He knows it because he’d thought of it a hundred different times in his head because he knows Hinata Shouyou.

So instead of telling him to stop, or _shut up, please don’t say what I think you’re about to say_ , Kourai surges forward and kisses him, lips on lips and hand coming up to cup Shouyou’s face. 

Shouyou kisses him back, a smile curving over his lips and his eyelashes fluttering over Kourai’s cheeks. Shouyou kisses him back just as the sun sets over the horizon and colors the whole world orange and purple and pink. Shouyou kisses him back and it feels like six years and eleven thousand miles that they share now and not six years and eleven thousand miles that set them apart. Shouyou kisses him and Kourai learns another new thing about himself--

That he doesn’t want it to stop, that he wants to run his fingers through Shouyou’s hair and hear his heartbeat under his palm. That he wants to listen to him sing offkey and laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Kourai wants this boy so much that he’s almost afraid, but then Shouyou pulls away and looks at him and Kourai looks, and he looks. Really, really looks, and he sees it. 

It’s on his face, and in the way that he smiles. It’s in his eyes and in the gentle way that he pulls Kourai closer, arm looping around his waist until they’re falling back into the sand, a mess of arms and legs and too many sharp elbows and knees. 

It’s on Shouyou’s face and for a second Kourai feels foolish for always looking away first. Kourai feels foolish for not seeing. 

But he sees it, now. 

Kourai settles his hand over Shouyou’s heart, feels the steady drum beat underneath his palm and he smiles. 

Shouyou pulls him back down for another kiss and it tastes like citrus and the sea. 

“This is nice and all,” Kourai finally says, when the sun has fully set and the evening settles around them. The sound of the rolling waves is enough to make Kourai sleepy. “This is nice and all--” and he pulls Shouyou in for another kiss, a quick one to the corner of his mouth and then another one right on his cheek, if only to make Shouyou giggle. “But you’re shivering and I’m cold and if we both end up sick tomorrow then--”

“Then I think Hirugami-san is going to kill me,” Shouyou supplies with a playful glitter in his eyes. 

“No, no,” but Kourai is already dragging Shouyou back to the car, the both of them bundled up in towels because that’s a thing they definitely did not forget to pack. “No, it’s _fine_ ,” and if Hirugami does learn--and eventually he will--that they’ve both been out swimming in the middle of November then Kourai will get an earful but Shouyou is warm, now, and his face is bright, smile lazy. 

Kourai feels warm, too, just looking at him. 

“This was fun,” Kourai wants to just stalk right out of the car and jump back into the water for that comment because it’s lame, so, so lame, but it makes Shouyou laugh and that’s enough. Kourai can spend all his days just listening to his laugh. “I mean it,”

“Oh?” Shouyou quirks an eyebrow, leaning forward across the console for a kiss that Kourai meets almost immediately. 

Shouyou touches a hand gently to Kourai’s face, lets his fingers drum over Kourai’s chest for a second before he slides it up the length of his neck to settle over his cheek, Shouyou’s hand warm, warm, warm, his kisses still tasting like the sea and citrus. Like lemons.

Which is just fine because Kourai really, really loves lemonade.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/HOSHIUMIKOURAl)!


End file.
